Open Water by Sophia Soames

Author:Sophia Soames [Soames, Sophia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-07-19T16:00:00+00:00

LUKAS

Lukas has endured bad weeks. Terrible months. Horrid days when he has seriously thought about just hiding his pathetic self under the duvet and never seeing the light of day again. But this week? Fuck. It’s not even him.

He’s not heartbroken. It’s nothing he’s done. He should be fine. He should be sitting at home eating another bar of damn chocolate and laughing. Laughing straight in Tom’s face. Not walking the streets of Stockholm in the morning sun feeling like he is about to explode.

Yes, that’s the problem.

Because it’s fucking tempting just to admit it. Even though he knows what an incredibly stupid idea the whole pathetic fucking head-canon of giving in to the crazy ideas that come out of Tom Andersson Björklund’s mouth is. That he likes it. That he can kind of imagine it. Which makes him want to roll himself into a ball on the ground and just scream. Hurl abuse at himself, and well, let’s just say that the short walk down to the liquor shop is really tempting. A few bottles of beer and some matching shots of something stronger later, and Lukas’s head would be a nice and fuzzy place to lounge around in. Then, maybe, he wouldn’t be so damn confused.

But then Lukas knows. He knows the stupid shit his head comes up with when he’s had a few. And he wouldn’t just be drunk this time. He would be fucking drunk on Tom. And his phone would be a damn liability.

Which is why he doesn’t understand what he is doing. He hasn’t understood shit all week, being pathetically depressed and moody. Like he should be hanging his head over the fact that some idiot from way back has a crush on him. Yeah. Right. Pathetic juvenile shite.

It means nothing. Everyone has crushes. Lukas has had a few. And it’s not like he lies in bed at night thinking about that Peder, even though he was kind of cute. Fuck. He doesn’t even know what has happened to him. Maybe he should google. Check out Facebook?

No. Lukas is pretty much fucked. His lessons have been pathetic. He has chickened out of Max’s tutoring both days and let Miriam do her thing. Apparently, Max has aced it, and Miriam has looked at Lukas and kind of questioned what they have actually been doing. The kid is smart. Bright. He should just sit a few backdated exams and get on with it.

Yet, Lukas kind of knows that doing this would just rile up a storm of anxiety in the kid and undo what they are trying to achieve here. Small steps. A little at a time. Day by day. No pressure. Just work through the coursework and get him passed. It’s how he functions, and they can do this. It’s fine.

It’s just that sitting there staring at the kid, when all he can see is Tom, is the worst kind of mind fuck.

And he knows what he needs to do. He should ring up his

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